Philosophy? philosopher?Happiness is a thought

I always think a lot, I have to admit that. 


Everyone thinks. For those who could express in words; other people read it , understand it  , they feel it ,experience it, and finally an agreement is formed within them, people then call the person philosopher, like aristotle.  I always think philosopher is very tough to be , as at the end , in pursuit of the " meaning " of life , you end your life. 
I remember 4 years ago,I heard that there was a book that talks about philosophy of life, and after reading that book , many committed suicide including the author who was the philosopher. I do not say it is bad , as perhaps I can understand , after reading the book, they understand it , feel it, experience it, and finally meaning of life was pursued , they have achieved something within their mind , body and thought , and so they have nothing more to pursue, they end their life.


I myself enjoyed reading books with philosophical narratives .. I enjoyed last time , very much into it, but I often find myself not happy. Every detail expressed in words , passed through our belief , we interpret it , and we compare with our life experience , we agree and we ends up questioning and... at the end we could not get the final answer, we question again... yet nothing works... and the process is tough and continue to be tough , that is why people call it dwell over the past , dwelling on the things that sometimes have no " absolute" answer. .. Indeed , absolute cannot be applied in every event , every person and every thing. Miracle still exists that is why uniqueness exist in our planet. Without understanding it, confusion will persist ..and normally , in my case, sadness started to overpower and mind interpreted them with bad experiences. 


Right now , I could still think about philosophy if I want to interpret a thing , I can tell a long story about it , but honestly . In pursuit of " non absolute" answer, I became more "absolute" , I think in more practical and logical now, as I categorise thing , and reason them with an easy "answer" , and stop dwelling and questioning too much . To me , it may be called " faith" . Just believe it over single thing that you cannot understand yet you are still doing it. Believe it over single thing that comes to you and you are still facing it . The faith you create comes from the belief , and also perhaps " the easier thing you thought in practical and logical way". 


It might be hard to understand here but I explain in this way. When you are sad , you just have to put it in a simpler way that it is because you "choose " to be sad , and stop dwelling and questioning too much and as simple as it is. A philosopher may start to think that a sadness is because the connection of the current situation is not with the "mind". Body is not listening to the " mind" ... and why is the mind so detached? because of the detachment given by the body as mind distort the situation , or the situation distort the mind and body disconnect them ....etc.. blah blah.. and then continue to question what is the situation , mind , body etc... 


Philosophy is just a "thought" , as I said everyone is thinker , however philosopher 's ability is he explains a thing that has no absolute answer , but long narrative and facts, the answer can be only formed differently by people who interpret it. 


I am not a philosopher and I avoid being one of them too.
However , If I were to conclude here, I would say my philosophy of happiness is that happiness is a state of thought , it is easy to achieve if we just interpret as simple as it is.